The Trip Back To Wisconsin

Submitted by Betty Schlies

As I sit here tonight, watching friends leaving in their RV’s for their trek back North, I’m contemplating our trip back to Wisconsin. It brings back some vivid memories of our trip last year.  Okay everyone, if any of you need to write a comedy story, just hook up with Betty and Larry.  The following is from  my blog of our 2017 trip back up North.

Wednesday, April 13, 2017 – We left Florida at 5am not knowing how long Larry could drive because his back is not too good right now.  Well, I’ll tell he was a trooper.  We drove until 6pm and made it to Knoxville TN.  We stopped seven times for walks and refueling.  The weather was perfect with very little wind, so he didn’t have to fight the steering wheel.  Perfect day—we should be home by Thursday night—RIGHT????  WRONG!!!!

Thursday, April 13, 2017 – Started at 5am again and made it to Kokomo, Indiana where we stopped at a rest area for lunch and a nap for Larry.  We decided to use the restrooms, so Larry locked the RV.  Boy! Was that the wrong thing to do.  He tried to unlock the door and it would not unlock!  Of course, all of our other keys are in the RV and our info for Good Same Assist are in there also.  Luckily, Larry had his phone with him and he called OK Google for the telephone number.

Good Sam Assist was very good about sending someone to our rescue even though we didn’t have our ID number.  Someone would be there in 60-90 minutes.  I sure got my steps in today.  I think they will have to repave the sidewalks and I only had flipflops on!

The locksmith arrived and tried to get the door open for thirty minutes and could not, so he left.  Good Sam called back, and they sent another company with crowbars and screwdrivers and whatever.  After about 30 minutes, he gave up and left.  Good Sam ran out of ideas.

So there we are, standing outside of the motorhome with no food, meds, clothing, and my phone.  Larry had a phone with 20% power and a credit card with him.  He decided to break a window.  But, we had no stepladder or hammer since all compartments are locked and the keys were in the RV.

None of the truckers had a stepladder, but an RV drove in and they had not only a hammer, they had a stepladder!  Larry broke the window and glass went all over the place.  Of course, we had an audience by this time.  The lady came out with a wastebasket and a broom and swept up the glass.  Meanwhile I am crawling around under the RV sweeping up glass.

THEN the process started of getting Larry in through the window began.  In he goes head first with me holding the ladder.  To begin with, the window is not all that tall. Larry’s belly is dragging on the bottom sill.  His rear end is hitting the top.  I am pushing him.  Most of you know how gassy he is and that is the end I am pushing!  Need I say more!!

The next part of the story is from the inside of the RV.  Larry could not get the door open from the inside either!  After a lot of pounding and @###*, he quit.  It was back out the window, the stepladder was returned to the folks so they could get on with their journey.

We next unhooked the car and headed 30 miles north to a Walmart to buy a stepladder.  They had a 4 ft. and an 8 ft.  We opted for the 4ft because we had to get it in the window.  Back 30 miles to the rest area.  Back in the window we both go!  What a sight that must have been for our audience!

By then we had spent seven hours at the wayside.  We would go closer to Chicago so we could get through the city early in the morning rather than at rush hour. We stopped at a Flying J which has free night parking for RVs.  But, we need fuel.

So right at the gas pump, Larry hauls the ladder out the window and he follows.  Of course, there was an audience!

Now usually it is my job to clean the windshield.  Needless to say, the bugs remained on the window because I refused to crawl out at the gas pump.  One chore left.  Pulling the stepladder back in through the window!

It is 10:30pm.  We are tired.  Of course, with plastic on the window, we can hear every truck and car leaving Flying J.  Oh, I forgot to mention.  Larry was freezing while pumping gas tonight.  He had taken off his sweatshirt so he could fit in the window.  He had already emptied his pockets and taken his belt off to make himself smaller.  Hee hee!

What will tomorrow bring?  If all goes well, we can crawl out the window at home with no audience.  Good night and grateful.  It could have been worse.  No accident and we are not hurt.  God bless.

Friday, April 14, 2017 – It is 7:30am and in about 45 minutes the move begins.  We made it through Chicago with no problems.   We were pretty early.  We are 50 miles from home.  At that time, the blue plastic comes off the window.  Out comes the stepladder with an old grey-haired lady hanging on to a strap connected to the stepladder so the bald old man can guide it out the window and try to unfold it.  Not easy.  It is a brand-new stepladder and hard to open when dangling out the window.  AAAHHHH!  It is on the ground!

Followed shortly by a fat old man who is carefully descending.  Next comes the legs and feet of a grey-haired old lady.  Fat man holding the ladder.  Old lady is hoping he keeps his hands to himself!  No problem, I guess fat old men get over that!

Whew!  We have landed!  Now for getting the door off so we can unpack.  Of course that means the agile old man will have to climb the ladder again and try to remove the door.  I think he should wait until his 6’1” son arrives.

So long for now, it has been a great winter, but it is nice to celebrate Easter with family.  Thanks for listening to my rambling.  Thank God for a safe trip.  Just some bruises from exiting the window.

PS:  We thought we would have no audience once we arrived home.  Wrong again!  Our neighbors were on their porch watching the whole thing!  They think we have flipped our lid!

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