Listen Up

Grieving Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love!  And love isn’t exclusive to romantic relationships — love is for EVERYONE and EVERYTHING.  Sisters, cousins, parents.  Best friends, cats, and dogs. But in reality, Valentine’s Day is focused on couples in love. 

This holiday can be especially difficult for those who have recently lost a loved one.They’ve shared a lifetime of special Valentine Days in the past. But from now on, it will be different.

Why not help make this day special for the one still here? As a friend, you could take them somewhere amazing and eat out, but you would be surrounded by ‘lovers everywhere’ sharing their special meal. Whatever their favorite meal is, get take out and go to the park, the beach, somewhere new to them. Something unfamiliar, no memories of it. Until today.

And when you’re with your grieving friend crying over their Cody’s bar burger, keep YOUR mouth shut and your ears open. Let them talk, or let them be silent.

Remember, this is the ‘amazing’ part, listening, without talking, at all. No comments in between them taking a bite of that juicy burger. Stuff some french fries in your own mouth if that helps.  Why would this be amazing? Because listening has become a lost art. Think about it, when you’re depressed, it might take you longer to get your thoughts into words. But you can’t do that when your friends are constantly interrupting with their own stories to make you feel better. There is a time to have empathy, but today, Valentine’s Day, is not that time.

It’s about giving them something new to remember this holiday. A shoulder perhaps to cry on, but most of all, your ears. They will remember your time spent with them to make a new memory this Valentine’s Day. 

Ecclesiastes  3:7-8There is a time for everything, and a season for every purpose under the heavens:a time to be silent and a time to speak.”…

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Pam Batey

Moved to Tanglewood in August 2016, with husband, Steve and dog, Maggie. Retired Paramedic, now continuing my hobby writing short stories and information in the "You and Your Health" Section of the newsletter. Active Member of Tanglewood Community Church.