I, like most of my friends, have more years behind me than in front of me, and that stinks. Frankly, I’m tired of being the oldest person at family gatherings but it certainly beats the alternative. That knowledge, although scary, has somehow given me permission to enjoy my guilty pleasures. What are my guilty pleasures?

Today after cooking a healthy and hearty vegetable soup for dinner, which Daryl and I enjoyed with our best friends. I celebrated by eating three Krispy Kreme glazed donuts. I had good intentions when I bought the $22 box of donuts as I was sharing them with our friends for dessert. Also, Krispy Kreme’s are an exceedingly rare treat that we have maybe once a year.

When I arrived home, I put 2 delicious morsels of the warm glazed donuts on my plate, but my body had a mind of its own and I kept walking into the kitchen. I rationalized that the donuts were tiny and were practically inhaled in seconds. I wanted, not needed, more! The box on the kitchen counter was screaming at me. I tried not to give into temptation. But there they were! In all their glory. Massive amounts of sugary glaze clinging to warm succulent donuts. I could smell them and I wanted them! I now understand how my girlfriend’s dog, Maddie, feels when she smells the food we were eating in front of her. Like Maddie, I walked with anticipation by the food, but unlike Maddie, I did not have a tail to wag. I’m human after all, but just like the snake tempted Adam to eat the apple from the tree, my donut box was tempting me.

The lid popped open and I could see the donuts. The lid seemed to be waving to me in an encouraging way. I could almost hear, “Eat me! You only had two. What’s two little donuts? You deserve a third.” And my brain seemed to answer, “What the heck. What’s one more? Truly, they are mostly air and if I eat one more, my guilt will be gone in a second, and I’ll no longer be tempted.”  Then I became philosophical. How many more years do I have to enjoy Krispy Kreme’s anyway? Somehow my brain was giving me all the permission I needed to savor every morsel of a third donut. The donut barely touched my plate. Poof, it was gone! I was immediately sad until I remembered there were still two remaining in the box to drive me crazy.

I tried getting my addiction to sweets off my mind by watching tv and playing Spider Solitaire, but my body kept walking into the kitchen. I was on an uncontrollable sugar high. The freezer door was mocking me. Behind the door was ice cream sandwiches, Dutch chocolate ice cream, and vanilla ice cream. Hidden behind the other door was fudge and whipped cream. What’s a girl to do? My free will had been destroyed by the donuts, and now my freezer door was conspiring with the donut box. I once had the willpower to “just say no” but now my hand was holding a half-eaten ice cream sandwich. Yes, I ate it all! I am a weak, donut eating, ice cream sandwich eating, 78-year-old! But then again, how many years do I have left to enjoy my guilty pleasures? I wonder if heaven has Krispy Kreme’s. Until then may we all enjoy our guilty pleasures!