Yes, our march through the M’s continues and its time to hit the Show Me state, Missouri. The State got the nickname in 1899 when US Congressman Willard Duncan Vandiver (now there’s a name for you) said on the House floor, “For thy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. I am from Missouri. You are going to have to show me.” (or words to that effect, I’ve found a variety of quotations attributed to the late Willard). No word on what he needed to be shown has been noted though. Possibly the door.

It’s hard sometimes to wrap our heads around just how big this country really is, and for a not insignificant period of time Missouri was the frontier. Kansas City, MO was the “Gateway to the West”. I am not sure what Kansas City, MO is a gateway too these days, other than Kansas City, KS. And as long as we are on the whole Gateway to the West thing, the nation’s smallest National Park commemorates that status. The Gateway Arch National Park is only 91 acres. The Arch itself was not started until 1963 and the design was chosen in a contest to create a memorial. The Arch was completed and opened to the public in 1965. Somehow, I always thought it was older than that, like we are.

Missouri became our 24th state, joining the Union on August 10, 1821. The State got its name from a tribe of Sioux Indians and there are varying translations. The one endorsed by the Smithsonian in Washington; D.C. is that the word translates to “town of the large canoes”. Runners up in the translation department include “muddy water” and “people with wooden canoes”. Missouri was the first State to free the slaves, doing it in 1865 before the Emancipation Proclamation. Not everyone was a fan though. In fact, one dyed in the wool Democrat was so opposed to Republican Abraham Lincoln that he vowed to never shave again if Lincoln became President. Valentine Tapley kept his word and never shaved after the election of 1860. Upon his death in 1901 his beard clocked in at 12 feet, 6 inches long. I have not been able to find any information on what Mrs. Tapley thought about that. I suspect there might not have been a Mrs. Tapley for all that time. Would you want to sleep next to a 12 foot beard? It probably needed its own casket

1904 was a big year for Missouri. They hosted the first Olympic Games held in the United States and a World’s Fair that year. And the kicker, they were going on at the same time!  And while I could not find any lasting additions to society coming from those Olympic Games, I can’t imagine life without some of the innovations introduced at the World’s Fair. We have Missouri to thank for several innovations to American cuisine, including iced tea, the waffle cone (which made the ice cream cone possible), Dr. Pepper, cotton candy, and The Olympics were a little odd too, there was only one event held every day, and only 42 of the 91 events had competitors from outside of the United States. The real stand-out event was the marathon, where half of the contestants got heat stroke. The eventual winner cheated to get there having hitched a ride between miles 9 and 19. The oddest Olympic event was the speed climbing of a greased pole. I don’t think it caught on though.

Everyone probably remembers that President Harry S. Truman hailed from Missouri, but the State has given us quite a number of other famous folks. Two generals hail from MO, Jack Pershing of WWI fame and Omar Bradley of WWII. Going back a tad farther, another famous general may not have gotten his start in MO, but General U.S. Grant DID get his promotion to the general’s rank while he was standing under an oak tree in Ironton, MO.
Missouri also seems to have produced a number of writers over the years, including Laura Elizabeth Ingalls (of Little House on the Prairie fame), Maya Angelou, T.S. Eliot, and Samuel Clemens (better known as Mark Twain).
The tallest ever recorded human being, Robert Pershing Wadlow, was from St. Louis and clocked in at 8 feet 11.1 inches tall. I point out that that is still 3 feet shy of a certain beard…
James Cash Penney was born in Hamilton MO in 1875. His retail business was a bit more successful that President Truman’s and was a household name for many years. Yep, that J.C. Penney.   
Another modern curse was also dreamed up by someone from Missouri. Long before there was anything called an Elon Musk, there was James Patrick Dorsey. He was born in St. Louis, MO in 1976 and went on to create Twitter. Personally, I think he owes us all an apology.
Of a more beneficial and lasting addition was that of Susan Elizabeth Blow of Carondelet, MO. She started the first public kindergarten classes in the United States and made the concept a reality that eventually caught on nationwide.
Missouri may have some nice natural wonders (lots of caves foe example, one of which is even the only cave restaurant in the USA), but it has also suffered some pretty nasty natural disasters. The worst earthquake ever to hit in the US was centered in New Madrid in 1811 and had tremors felt as far as 1,000 miles away! As if that was not bad enough, the worst tornado in the US (the “Tri-State tornado of 1925) destroyed 90% of the state.
Looking for tourist attractions and things to do? Well, do not miss the world’s largest rooster statue in Branson. The 43 foot tall cock sports a American flag vest year round too! Not into rooster? Nuts more your thing? Then head on over to Brunswick to check out the 12 foot long pecan. For you shoe freaks out there, do not miss Clayton and the 10 foot tall shoe statue, made entirely out of shoes. Precious Moments figurines your fancy? Do not miss the park in Carthage populated by life size versions. If you happen to be in Blue Spring, MO next March, be sure to catch their St. Patrick’s Day parade – but don’t sleep in. This parade has the distinction of being the shortest parade route in the country – it crosses one street. That’s it. And in St. Louis, be sure to check out the world’s largest chess piece, a 15 foot tall white King. But I think the weirdest one has to be the ceiling of Elbow Inn Bar and BBQ in Devil’s Elbow, MO. The entire ceiling is decorated with bras that patrons left behind for that purpose. Route 66 must do things to people.

And so we come to the usual odd legal quirks because that is my former life rearing its ugly head again.

In Natchez, MO it is illegal to give beer to an elephant. The law is silent, however, of whether you can give beer to other animals such as hippos or camels.
In University City, MO you cannot have a yard sale in your front yard, in has to be in the back.
And while it is not enforced, it is illegal in St. Louis for a firefighter to rescue a woman who is either nude or wearing bedclothes. She is supposed to get dressed before being rescued!
In Columbia, MO it is illegal to dry clothes on an outdoor clothesline, but you can drape them on fence posts.
In St. Louis it is illegal to drive with an uncaged bear in your car. It is also illegal for milkmen to run on the job (assuming one could even find a milkman these days).
In Kansas City it is illegal for a child to buy a cap-pistol, but they can buy a shotgun.